Sex Sat Nav

I recently came into possession of a Garmin Nuvi 765T satellite navigation device. This sat nav unit does everything that you can imagine a sat nav can do and more. It has lane assist, 3-d buildings, blue tooth so you can make hands free calls, the ability to store mp3 files so you can play music or audio books, you can even put pictures on it to view while driving if paying attention to the road gets too much for you (if you want a more eloquent review of what this gizmo does then go here). You may think that a sat nav unit is not the best present for someone who never goes anywhere but that's neither here nor there. In fact this week alone I have used the unit to navigate my way too and from work....a journey I have made everyday for the last ten years (and it still wanted me to take the main roads all the way!!!!!).

Anyways, it was on one of these too-and-from-work journey's that I had my eureka moment. What could make a romantic evening more special than a robotic voice telling you how to make your lover come like a freight train??? Introducing the revolutionary Cubaboy Sex Sat Nav (pat pending). The Cubaboy Sex Sat Nav (pat pending) guides you all the way from initial foreplay (including optional oral sex) all the ways up to full twenty-in-a-room full penetrative fuck orgy, with added anal assist. This device is so easy to use it can be used by twelve year old virgin having there first fuck behind the bike shed. Simply choose a routine from the menu (quick shag, DP, Anal etc) and let a Stephen Hawking like voice guide you and your partner to ecstasy.

"INSERT FINGER.....INTO....ANUS..FOR......30 SECONDS........STIMULATE GONADS IN........2 MINUTES" shrieks the Cubaboy Sex Sat Nav from the bedside locker. "EJACULATE.....EJACULATE".

The Cubaboy Sex Sat Nav (pat pending) is so user friendly that it can recalculate your route to a good fuck if you veer of course. Spent too much time on rimming??? No worries, the Cubaboy Sex Sat Nav (pat pending) will simply correct your remaining fuckery and get you back on course. The new and improved Cubaboy Sex Sat Nav (pat pending) now comes (heehee) in a variety of "sexy" voices, Stephen Hawkins, Cubaboy, Pat Kenny etc. Order now and get absolutely nothing extra...you greedy fuck.

Scientists Proven To Be Full Of Shit....Again

As long time readers of this website will know I can't wait for mankind to be wiped out, or at least a huge majority of mankind. Films like Armageddon and Deep Impact really float my boat. I don't even want to tell you what happens when I watch Dawn Of The Dead or 28 Days Later. The very thought of society as we know it being obliterated is my idea of heaven.






So you can imagine how excited I was over the last few days when I got wind of an experiment that some scientists were doing in Switzerland which was guaranteed to create a black hole and fuck us all up......apocalypse style !!! Well surprise surprise like all things in my life it's turned to shit. The whole experiment took place earlier today and fuck all has happened. Not a sausage.






I decided to rise early this morning, not go into work and watch the apocalypse from the comfort of my sun deck. Two hours later I was still sitting there, slightly damp and a just a little pissed off that I, and everyone else, was still alive. So I've had it with scientists, there all full of shit. I was sold a lie when I was young that religion held the explanation for everything. As I grew up and watched the X files I became indoctrinated into believing that science was the new religion and that it held all the answers. I can now for once and for all declare that scientist don't have a clue. Like a drowning man in the river Nile they're grasping at straws. Don't believe a fucking word that a scientist tells you.



Now where's my tin foil hat.......