I Can't Wait For The Shit To Hit The Fan
I was watching the recent remake of Dawn Of The Dead last week on Channel Four and it got me to thinking, how cool would it be for the shit to hit the fan? In the film zombies start roaming the earth and eating folk. A motley crew of survivors baracade themselves inside a shopping mall and plan their escape. Now I was thinking, imagine if something like that actually happened, like the media generated fantasy that is bird flu actually manifesting itself in human form and laying waste to vast amounts of mankind?? I for one would be fucking delighted.
Ok, let's take this step by step, one, flu spreads and causes mass panic. Two, take the opportunity to procure a shot gun and shoot anyone who has ever in any way disrespected you. Three, by this stage you're either one of the survivors or one of the dead. If you're dead fuck it, it won't really matter, but if you're alive the world is literally your oyster. First and foremost I advise that you set yourself up as a local Warlord. Just collect a few shotguns and a couple of easily lead, die-for-you lackies. Then there's the whole re-population of the world to think about. I suggest taking a mormon attitude towards the surviving women, without the actual marriage thing. Imagine no traffic, no work, playing bumper cars with your neighbour's actual car.
" Quick, to the Batmobile......nanananananananananana"
Anyway, I reckon that the whole bird flu disaster thing is a long shot, I'll be too old to properly enjoy the mass panic brought about by global warming so my bet for worldwide civil disater is an auld reliable atomic war. Fingers crossed those Iranians blow the shit out of somewhere soon and unleash the post apocaliptic future that Hollywood has promised for so long.
Shilpa Shetti naked, danielle lloyd naked, staunton out, shilpa shetty's tits,
Ok, let's take this step by step, one, flu spreads and causes mass panic. Two, take the opportunity to procure a shot gun and shoot anyone who has ever in any way disrespected you. Three, by this stage you're either one of the survivors or one of the dead. If you're dead fuck it, it won't really matter, but if you're alive the world is literally your oyster. First and foremost I advise that you set yourself up as a local Warlord. Just collect a few shotguns and a couple of easily lead, die-for-you lackies. Then there's the whole re-population of the world to think about. I suggest taking a mormon attitude towards the surviving women, without the actual marriage thing. Imagine no traffic, no work, playing bumper cars with your neighbour's actual car.
" Quick, to the Batmobile......nanananananananananana"
Anyway, I reckon that the whole bird flu disaster thing is a long shot, I'll be too old to properly enjoy the mass panic brought about by global warming so my bet for worldwide civil disater is an auld reliable atomic war. Fingers crossed those Iranians blow the shit out of somewhere soon and unleash the post apocaliptic future that Hollywood has promised for so long.
Shilpa Shetti naked, danielle lloyd naked, staunton out, shilpa shetty's tits,
posted by Unknown at
12:20
4 Comments:
Welcome back to the blogosphere (That's a real word now I think).
I'd be on for the Warlord thing. Let me know when this is going to happen and I'll give you a hand.
when I saw the title of the story, I thought you had a certain Mr O'Connor making a guest post?!
@ Lt Colonel Creedon - Thank you, it's good to be back. It's been a hectic few months involving late nights, vomit and no end lost tempers, but more of that next week.
@ acqvxc - The last time DOC guested on these pages I got more complaints than Jade Goody's press secretary.
...It's been a hectic few months involving late nights, vomit and no end lost tempers...
And I was about to ask how the wine turned out ;-)
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