Cubaboy To Run For Election In '07
After much personal reflection and serious conversation with my family I have decided to run in next years general election. As I do not subscribe to any of the mainstream parties, or any of the either right or left wing parties, philosophies I have decided to create my own party (yet to be named). My polocies have been described by some as draconian, by others as slightly insane. I hope, over the next seven months of campaigning to spell out exactly what Cubaboy stands for.
Firstly and most importantly if elected I promise to take bribes from absolutely anyone. I promise to do favours for the highest bidder and ignore the poor and sick.
Secondly I ahve decided taht a program of genocide is to be undertaken. I have noticed over my thirty years on this planet that there are two kinds of people, the kind that meanders through life half a sleep and the rest of us. You know the kind of person I mean, the person who at a till will take twenty minutes to have a little chat with the cashier despite their being a long queue behind them. The kind of person who meanders in front of you (slowly) when you're trying to get from point A to point B in the quickest time. The kind of person who drives at thirty miles an hour no matter what the road type. I have done exhaustive tests and have decided that seventy per cent of the population must be eliminated to progress the remaining thirty percent to greater heights. Imagine what we could do if we didn't have to put up with these half wits.
Thirdly if I am elected, and possibly if I'm not, I promise to remove the so called president of this country. I refer to her as so called because she was never actually elected to a second term in office. that's right, and unelected dictator holds the highest office in this country. And she rules this country like a tryant. Only last week she issued a statement stating that Irish people should drink at funtions, what next we should breath so much air to give the tree's a rest. Down with this despicable regime I say.
My party is only burdgoning at the moment but I will accept applications for membership for everyone. I'd get in early if I were you, when I get into power chances are your going to be killed.
Thank you and I hope I can count on your vote !!!
Bertie is a thief, I gave Bertie Ahern a bribe, money for political favours, Bertie is a crook
Firstly and most importantly if elected I promise to take bribes from absolutely anyone. I promise to do favours for the highest bidder and ignore the poor and sick.
Secondly I ahve decided taht a program of genocide is to be undertaken. I have noticed over my thirty years on this planet that there are two kinds of people, the kind that meanders through life half a sleep and the rest of us. You know the kind of person I mean, the person who at a till will take twenty minutes to have a little chat with the cashier despite their being a long queue behind them. The kind of person who meanders in front of you (slowly) when you're trying to get from point A to point B in the quickest time. The kind of person who drives at thirty miles an hour no matter what the road type. I have done exhaustive tests and have decided that seventy per cent of the population must be eliminated to progress the remaining thirty percent to greater heights. Imagine what we could do if we didn't have to put up with these half wits.
Thirdly if I am elected, and possibly if I'm not, I promise to remove the so called president of this country. I refer to her as so called because she was never actually elected to a second term in office. that's right, and unelected dictator holds the highest office in this country. And she rules this country like a tryant. Only last week she issued a statement stating that Irish people should drink at funtions, what next we should breath so much air to give the tree's a rest. Down with this despicable regime I say.
My party is only burdgoning at the moment but I will accept applications for membership for everyone. I'd get in early if I were you, when I get into power chances are your going to be killed.
Thank you and I hope I can count on your vote !!!
Bertie is a thief, I gave Bertie Ahern a bribe, money for political favours, Bertie is a crook
posted by Unknown at
15:16
5 Comments:
Let’s be honest: You’re not going to be elected as you’ve just alienated 70% of the population. But there are other ways to power. If you need a strong militia to stage a coup-de-tait, let’s talk.
Well hitler had the brown shirts......do you own a brown shirt?? Anyway I'm a strong believer in the fact that people are incredibly stupid and need to be ruled like the dogs they are. If I come across as hard on crime the sheep will all follow me!!!
How does Taniste sound Colonel??
I don't think I have a brown shirt. I could get a white one and shit-stain it; this could become the symbol of Cubaboyites much as Hitler had his Swastika.
Surely shit stanes is more Dave's dominion than Cubaboy's!!
Fair enough. Make Dave Tainiste actually. I'll be Chief Of Staff of the Defence Forces.
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