Crash or Trash

I seen this film over Christmas called Crash and it's been eating away at me ever since. Everything I've heard about it seemed positive so I decided yet again to give some of my hard earned money to those Hollywood shitbags. The film is basically about a bunch of seemingly unconnected people who, in a contrived fashion are made to be connected. Now the film is supposed to be about racism in THE most racist country in the world, America, but actually none of the people in the film are racist.......they're just very, very nasty people......every single person is dispicable and had no reedeming features. Even the ones who seem good are not.

What is this film trying to say to us, that we're all racist??? Well that's a rather glib argument, a bit like saying every man is a potiential rapist because he has a dick, then every woman is a potiental whore becuase she has the ecoutrement to be one. This is a nonsense arguement and only serves to make even semi intelligent people resent the implication and lends nothing to the debate.

I think the actors who got paid for this one were subscribing to the theorey of Kate Winslet in Ricky Gervais's vehicle Extras, when she opined that to be in a film about Jews/Concentration Camps was a sure fire hit come Oscar time. A movie about racism in America is the same.

This film is THE biggest pile of trash I've seen last year.


Crash has been Nominated for 2 Golden Globes and will be nonimated for several Oscars

Bad News For Our English Cousins

Unfortunate news for any lonely, ugly, fat bastards who live in England today where that facist Labor government have pledged to crack down on the hoors. Full story here.

It's a poor state of affairs when 'Big Brother' wants to take the work out of some peoples mouths. An acquaintance of mine who lives in the the greater Hull area has told me that he is single handedly keeping four different hoors as well as two pimps in business. This has to be contributing to the local economy, in pharmaceuticals alone. And what of all the STD clincs, my friend said that he's had the clap three times last year alone.




A recent police report stated that 60% of their time is spent sorting out 'Ho fights', if we rid our streets of ho's there will be massive layoff's in the police.

I beg you, please contact Tony Blair and attempt to stop him from banning hoors.

Des Bishop Is A Wanker

I went to see Des Bishop in Mallafornia last Friday night, the twat walked off stage. Read my review here (It's in the Guestbook tab)


Twat

I Would Like To Work Like A Black

I've been prone to many verbal gaffs over the years, remember that time I told the epileptic joke to the epileptic, or that time I did the "bad traveller" joke to the Pavy Point annual convention???, but even I had to take my hat off to Mary O Rourke who upon gaining her party's nomination to run for Parliment in the next general election praised her campaign workers for "working like blacks"









The Latest Head Gear For The Foot In Mouth Brigade


Now I may not be the most politically correct guy, I may still call ladies birds and call gays queers, but to use that kind of language is totally unacceptable. I mean to insult your campaign workers like that. Everybody knows that the blacks don't scratch their arses unless theres a giro in it for them. Some people!!!!

Dicto 2006

Announcing the totally new for 2006 feature, Dictograms!!!! Ok, so it's not new but I will be attempting to do them more regularly. So far Dave's out in the lead with two (2) so I encourage everyone to post their guesses as to what I'm on about. Remember we must stop Dave!!!!!!

Christmas 2005, How Was It For You??

Ahh another Yule has come and gone and it's down to the hard task of thinking of new things to post on my blog for your amusement, and much like every other half arsed internet blogger I've decided to do a slap dash effort at a countdown, not of the whole year because I couldn't be bothered researching though, only the Christmas countdown. So here we go in not particluar order (in fact if I can muscle in a number to any of these rantings I'll be surprised)......

No 1 - The number on the British charts Sir Cliff and myself reached the week before Christmas.

No 9 - The number on the British charts Sir Cliff and myself reached on Christmas week. I was crestfallen after such early positive sales but unfortunatley we failed to climax at number one with a 'Christmas Wank'. That Louis Walsh bastard has the whole charts sewn up with his brand of 'shite pop'. I don't think an independent thinker like myself will ever reach number one while the dark over lord pop holds sway. How did Sir Cliff take it??? Not too well it has to be said, last time I saw him he was about to pass out in a pool of his own urine in a toilet in a workingmans club in Swindon as a result of drinking a bottle of mets. The fact that Westlife beat us didn't sit well with the camp prince of pop and he vowed his revenge by signing a murder suicide pact in his own feaces. We remain good friends however.

0 - Out of ten. That's the rating I give christmas televison this year. Sure there was the obligatory Bond film and Willie Wanker, but overall I struggled to find anything to watch. One program I did watch (well partly anyway) was Joe Duffy's "2005 - How was it for you". Now for the uniniated Joe Duffy is the pious, smarmy, self congratulatry host of RTE Radio One's Liveline program which plays host to every fucking crank this country has to offer, everything from Mary in Donegal who's fucking cat is off it's food to Ethna in Drimnagh who's neightbours kid has taken to pissing in her letter box. Now this show over Christams invloved Joe telling us what we thought was the top ten best things of 2005 and the top ten worst things. Now I don't know who voted in this "poll" but by fuck I didn't and anyone who did should be ashamed of themselves. Apparently the "best" thing about 2005 was Live 8. Now I'm sorry but Live 8 showed me only two things, one that the majority of music acts today can't hold a note and two that musicians will steep to absolutely any level to promote their albums, including piggybacking on some starving people in Africa. Anyway Joe tracked Bob Geldof down to Vicker Street and in the most gut wrenchingly fawning way "presented" Bob with his award. I have to say to was sickening, he was grasping his hand and smiling up at him. It was absolutely THE most embarassing thing I've ever seen on tv, what a cunt.

Then you had nobody's favourite Gay 'Would He Ever Go And Die' Byrne and his "Grumpy Old Men" show. Now I can't say I disagree with a lot of what was being said but I do disagree with that old fucker being on telly. He retired a few years ago and that should be it, no more!!! Speaking of people who shouldn't be on telly, Gerry Ryan did some form of made up countdown in order to pad out RTE's Christmas schedule. That lanky streak of piss Ryan Tubridy had a New Years nigth show, I drew the line at watching him or Ryan however.

666 - The number just under my hairline. I also watched a film called Crash over the 'Holidays'. Now the premise of thje film was that basically we're all racists. The film follows the daily lives of an ensemble cast. The story is contrived in such a way that they're paths cross with disasterously shit consequences. I think that the makers of the film wnated us all to come out and say "Hey, we're all potential racists", that's a bit like saying all men are potiental rapists because they have dicks, or that all women are potiental whores because they have lady bits. But now that I come to think of it I might be a racist, I;m racist against white people.....think about it, I hate a lot more white people than black people. I hate most of the (white)people I work with, most of the(white) people walking down the street, most of the (white) people I see in bars. In fact, of all the non white people I know I like.

Hello, my name is Cubaboy and I hate white people.

0 - The number of Christmas's I hopefully will have to go through before I can finally die.