Reasons To Be Angry - Part 2

The second in my occasional series of rants on what makes me angry in modern Ireland...







1. Colm An Jim Jim - Radio Show or Tv Show






If you're one of the few people who have never watched television or listened to radio then don't change the habit of a lifetime now. For you see, these two media are inhabited by two of the most annoying cunts ever to grace the airwaves, Colm and Jim Jim (so fat they name him twice), or Cunt and Fat Fat as I call them. Colm's the one who looks like a paedophile and Jim Jim's the one with enough spare skin under his chins to make a separate human being. These two "jolly japsters" first came to prominence after 2fm's morning radio show was continuously and humiliatingly beaten on the radio listenership figures by the far superior Ian Dempsey breakfast show on Today Fm. RTE's solution, employee two fucking assholes that sometimes (and badly) do funny voices then get Gerry Ryan to big them up, in his sad attempt to be "cool" with the kids. I can't give you a further run down on their radio show because I refuse to listen to it. I would literally jam a stick covered in Jim Jim's shit in my ear before I'd listen to those fanny pads.



However, in a move that could only be countenanced in RTE, these pair of muppets have now pitched up on Sunday evening television fronting a game show that only the severely retarded could consider entertainment. And you know what the hook on this show is??? They use skype so an in-studio contestant can compete with a sad lonely fucker at home in the hope of winning shit. Wow, skype, what's next 3.5" floppy disks? come on RTE wow me with the amazing technology of the near past!!!! Anyway this show is so dreadful, the audience so doped up on something and autocue reading that's so bad it's almost funny.



Whether it's the tv or the radio these two abortion bucket dodging jizz rags specialize in the kind of "patronise your audience to an inch of their lives" presenting that seems to be RTE's stock and trade at the moment. Hundred and sixty quid a year for this shit???





2. The Seoiges





I am soooo sick of these two cornbeefed armed cunts now that I'm actually choking on my own rage just writing this article. They're fucking everywhere you look at the moment promotiong their own afternoon snooze along. For the uninitiated Grainne (the older fatter one) started her broadcasting life as a weather girl on TG4. She then moved to TV3 when they started blowing smoke up her arse before moving to Sky when they launched their doomed-to-failure Sky News Ireland. When that bombed she slunk back to Ireland with her fat tail between her fat legs where RTE decided to give her a hundred thousand euro a year contract for whatever vehicle they put on before the news in the afternoon. Last year the show was co-hosted by hateable brick Joe something or other. However Grainne is such a cunt to work with poor Joe

found the dole office more appealing than sharing a sofa with the gaeilgoir.

As for Sile (the younger fatter one) all she's ever been is a weather girl on TG4. Oh yes, and Grainne's sister. You see this is what RTE thinks get's all Irish men's hearts all a flutter, the idea of two sisters together...at once!! Well I've got news for RTE, two fat Irish lesbiens don't really cut it today, maybe in the seveneties but most men's fantasies are a little more sophisticated in 2008.

Cubaboy Damaged

I don't know what made me do it......I was sweating and shivering in equal measure........my skin felt prickly as if there were a thousand ants just below the surface trying to burrow out. My condition was due in no small part to an over consumption of American beer and Austrian Schnapps the night before. The foul Chinese I had just consumed was revoltingly sloshing around in my stomach and making frequent attempts to break free via any available orifice. It was then [sobbing quietly now] that I took a rash decision that will haunt me for the rest of my days.....I watched and RTE home made drama!!

Yes that's right, last night I watch the televisual equivalent of eaten diarrhea vomited back up. The show in question was called Damage and told the tale of a very nasty Celtic Tiger family who seemed to shop at Brown Thomas exclusively, snort more cocaine than Tony Montoya and who had a mother and father who were both screwing around. Basically a more unsympathetic bunch of people you could possibly not find. The "story", if I can loosely use the term, revolved around their 21 year old daughter, who looked closer to forty five, who gets raped by a family friend at her 21st birthday party, while coked off her bin, and then her quest for justice.

I'm almost at a loss to tell you how bad this show was....allow me to try however. The acting was of such a poor standard that I would have preferred to watch my own testicles being ripped off by a dog with not very sharp teeth. So witless were the performances that you could almost see the "actors" reading off auto cue cards. Now I'm not one to engage in personal attacks but the "young" wan who gets raped is possibly the ugliest girl I've seen in manys the long day. The characters were so unsympathetic that I really couldn't give a fuck whether the rapist got away with it or not. Just as I was about to projectile vomit and explosively shit my pants at the same time with rage I was persuaded away from the channel, this with approximately 15 minutes remaining and no end in sight to the tedium.

I was surprised to find out when I researched this shit that there was actually a writer involved in the project. I mean what the fuck did this person do? There was no script to speak of, the characters were one dimensional and loathsome, the story was absolutely non existent and lent nothing to your classic "rape" storyline. Basically a fucking two year old could have done a better job if they wrote the story in their own shit. Then I read the fucking tripe is up for an award??? Fuck me, in what category??? "Most Retarded Shite I've Ever Seen On Tele" award??? And to think, next Saturday I'm going to have to withdraw 158 euro from my hard earned savings to give to RTE (in the form of a license fee) to put more of this shit on??!!? Well I want to report a crime, my eyes were raped last night and my mind sodomised by RTE.