Doggystyle

Many of you have no doubt noticed my lack of output on the auld blog recently. This is due in no small part to the fact that I have become a father. As unbelieveable as it sounds, yes I am a daddy. Fatherhood really is the life changing event that all the experts say it is and while I wasn't there for the birth I will make it upto my son by being there for all the important events in his life. I don't see his mother any more which is unfortunate (she ran off the bitch!!) but my current partner has been very understanding under the circumstances. Afterall it's not every woman who would take another females child into her home. Here's a couple of pictures of the litte fella.....












Here He Is Balmed Out On His First Night Home


Airing His Wares......So Like His Father!!!










I've called my son Keane after the greatest northern hemisphere player ever. Although he seems to be adopting some of his father's traites early on, he has a very unnerving habit of "liking" people. In fact it's rather ironic that the least sociable man in the country has such a sociable dog

I've tried to engender a hatred of humans by signing off key and poking him with a stick but nothing seems to work. He has however taken a keen interest in my arm and has been know to become romantically involved with the arm. Arm molestation is taken quite seriously and is stopped in it's tracks.


Here He Is Planning A Romatic Laison With My Arm



Shortly After This Photo Was Taken He Bit Me Face

Well who knows what the future holds for Keane and myself, we'll probably get into all manner of zany adventures involving car chases, bar room brawls and sexy bitches....for the dog of course!!!

I Can't Wait For The Shit To Hit The Fan

I was watching the recent remake of Dawn Of The Dead last week on Channel Four and it got me to thinking, how cool would it be for the shit to hit the fan? In the film zombies start roaming the earth and eating folk. A motley crew of survivors baracade themselves inside a shopping mall and plan their escape. Now I was thinking, imagine if something like that actually happened, like the media generated fantasy that is bird flu actually manifesting itself in human form and laying waste to vast amounts of mankind?? I for one would be fucking delighted.

Ok, let's take this step by step, one, flu spreads and causes mass panic. Two, take the opportunity to procure a shot gun and shoot anyone who has ever in any way disrespected you. Three, by this stage you're either one of the survivors or one of the dead. If you're dead fuck it, it won't really matter, but if you're alive the world is literally your oyster. First and foremost I advise that you set yourself up as a local Warlord. Just collect a few shotguns and a couple of easily lead, die-for-you lackies. Then there's the whole re-population of the world to think about. I suggest taking a mormon attitude towards the surviving women, without the actual marriage thing. Imagine no traffic, no work, playing bumper cars with your neighbour's actual car.


" Quick, to the Batmobile......nanananananananananana"


Anyway, I reckon that the whole bird flu disaster thing is a long shot, I'll be too old to properly enjoy the mass panic brought about by global warming so my bet for worldwide civil disater is an auld reliable atomic war. Fingers crossed those Iranians blow the shit out of somewhere soon and unleash the post apocaliptic future that Hollywood has promised for so long.


Shilpa Shetti naked, danielle lloyd naked, staunton out, shilpa shetty's tits,