Shit Actress + Flash Baps = Oscar

I watched the film The Constant Gardner the other night, I won't go into details about the film but suffice as to say it's about the little man standing up against big business and not as the title suggests a show about a feen who's obsessed by flowers. Afterwards I discussed the film with an associate of mine who had also seen the film. I opined that the film was ok but nothing special, my associate agreed and wondered how Rachel Weisz had received an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for her performance. Well this set me thinking, not to say she didn't deserve the Oscar or anything, but it wasn't as stellar a performance as say when she appeared in The Mummy, or to a lesser extent The Mummy Returns.

Upon extensive investigation I have discovered that several mediocre actresses have won Oscars for seriously dodgy films over the past few years for merely exposing themselves. Shall we look at the evidence???

The aforemanetioned Ms Weisz got her milkers out in The Constant Gardner.....bang Oscar

Charlize Theron got the boys out in the 2003 film Monster.....Kapow Oscar

Hally Berry got the lot out in the 2001 film Monsters Ball........zapf Oscar

Angelina Jolie probably got her baps out in Girl Interupted.........ping pang Oscar

and finally and probably most dodgy of all Gwyneth Paltrow "stared" in Shakespeare in Love, horsed out her paps and........gazonga Oscar.


Next year I would like to see the following actress honored

Jessica Alba - Best Supporting Oscar
Scarlett Johansen - Best Actress
Eva Longhoria - Special Oscar For Services To The Film Community
Kate Hudson - BAFTA for Blonde Hair