Mascot Madness

I don't know about you but I'm batshit crazy about mascots. Ever since I can remember I've been excited by what wondrous emblem of hope that inevitably accompanies a major sporting event. I remember my obsession started with Pique in the World Cup Finals in 1986. Pique came into my life in the form of an assembleable toy inside a kinder surprise egg. I played for hours putting his head where his legs should go etc. Italia 90 gave us Ciao, a minimalist stick and ball figure, maybe not as malleable as Pique but fun for a brief period none the less. Then those bastard Americans gave us Striker and things started going down hill fast. The French followed with the abomination that was Footix, a mascot that I would have loved to have kicked in the Ballix!! And most recently Germany gave us a homosexual lion called Goleo.



Then this morning I saw the mascot for London 2012's Olympic bid and I was fucking disgusted. It took me a little while to figure out what I was looking at, much like those pictures you have to squint your eyes at, but when I did my fucking jaw hit the floor. It's only a picture of Lisa Simpson giving her brother a blow job!!!