Olympic Opening Ceremony Faked

News yesterday that apparently some of the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games was faked. "Viewers watching at home and on giant screens inside the Bird's Nest National Stadium watched as a series of giant footprints outlined in fireworks processed gloriously above the city from Tiananmen Square." Unfortunately those devious Chinese had generated the images on a computer, possibly using photoshop, and even put in a camera wobble to make the whole thing seem more realistic. I for one will never trust the Chinese again, lying bastards. I mean honestly why would anyone fake something like this?? Are their lives that empty that they have to stoop to such antics?? I mean what the bloody hell is going on in their heads???





Anyway, in unrelated Olympic news I won my first Olympic Gold Medal (of these Olympics) last night (your time) in the pool. In a very tight race I really kicked hard in the closing fifty metres and won handily in a new Olympic and World record. I was fairly happy but this is just one of many medals I hope to win. I aim to become the first athlete to compete, and win, in many disciplines from swimming to track and field. Keep watching this space for further updates.



I've attached a picture of me after I won.