Don't Trust The Chinese
Seems those cheating bastard Chinese are at it again. Yesterday they were busying coming clean about faking the Beijing 2008 Olympic opening ceremony light display, now it seems that that little girl that sang that cute little song about crushing China's enemies and raping their lands wasn't so cute after all. Or at least the REAL girl who sang the song wasn't. For you see the girl that actually sang the song was, well, a bit of a minger, so they swapped her with a better looking little girl.
Now I've no problem with that, in fact I have constructed a list of ugly bastards, that if we all lived in China, would not see the light of television. Gerry "lard jowls" Ryan, Ryan "patronising wanker" Tubridy, Joe "barrel scraper" Duffy, Pat "sawdust" Kenny, Bibi "face like a landfill" Baskin, etc.
What I just can't figure out is why we allow ugly people to live in the first place. I reckon that by the age of five you should be able to tell if someone is going to be good looking in later life or not and thus make a decision as to whether a person should be allowed to live or not. Think about it, if we got ride of all the fat, ugly bastards then the world would be inhabited by Brad Pitts' and Angelinas, morbid obesity could be eradicated and farts would decrease dramatically. I also can't believe that the Chinese haven't thought of this before, after all they are adept at killing children.
In other Olympic news I claimed another Gold medal last night (your time). This time in weight lifting. Now I'm not going to make any puerile jokes about being no good at the "clean and jerk" or liking a good clean "snatch", I will however let the following picture speak for itself.
NB - If you ever take part in a weight lifting contest DO NOT have a curry an hour before hand. As I went to lift my winning wieght a shot of pure liquid shite shot out of me, through my leotard and pooled offensively on the ground behind me. It took several men in haz-chem suits to clean it up.
You can see why they made her hide behind the screen can't you??
Now I've no problem with that, in fact I have constructed a list of ugly bastards, that if we all lived in China, would not see the light of television. Gerry "lard jowls" Ryan, Ryan "patronising wanker" Tubridy, Joe "barrel scraper" Duffy, Pat "sawdust" Kenny, Bibi "face like a landfill" Baskin, etc.
What I just can't figure out is why we allow ugly people to live in the first place. I reckon that by the age of five you should be able to tell if someone is going to be good looking in later life or not and thus make a decision as to whether a person should be allowed to live or not. Think about it, if we got ride of all the fat, ugly bastards then the world would be inhabited by Brad Pitts' and Angelinas, morbid obesity could be eradicated and farts would decrease dramatically. I also can't believe that the Chinese haven't thought of this before, after all they are adept at killing children.
In other Olympic news I claimed another Gold medal last night (your time). This time in weight lifting. Now I'm not going to make any puerile jokes about being no good at the "clean and jerk" or liking a good clean "snatch", I will however let the following picture speak for itself.
NB - If you ever take part in a weight lifting contest DO NOT have a curry an hour before hand. As I went to lift my winning wieght a shot of pure liquid shite shot out of me, through my leotard and pooled offensively on the ground behind me. It took several men in haz-chem suits to clean it up.
posted by Unknown at
15:00
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