F**K Off, I'm Fat

A few weeks ago in the middle of a televison flicking malaise I happened upon BBC Three and a show called "F**k Off, I'm Fat", the show was fronted by larger than life funny man Ricky Grover. Now I like Ricky Grover, or should I say I liked Ricky Grover. In this show he put forward the fact that in five years time 70% of the UK's population would be obese and the theorey that society should make provison now for that day.

Now, I have nothing against fat people, some of the people I bullied at school were fat, but this show made my already high pressured blood boil. Mr Grover, like every other fat cunt had the same old lame defense that "I've tried every diet but nothing works", as he piled a jumbo mars bar and packet of Walkers crips into his gob. Then ordering some salmon and cheese dish.....twice.

One way society is apparently descriminating against the morbidly obese is that car manufacturers are not making cars big enough. To prove this point he teamed up with a twenty eight stone woman who likes to drive fast cars....if she could find a car to accomodate her. They eventually rigged up a Jag so she drive around a race track....slowly. Here's a staggering fact, twenty eight stone people should'nt exist, let alone be allowed behind the wheel of a car.

Fair grounds as well don't cater for the tubby set. Again an almost thirty stone woman complained that she couldn't get on the rides, missus, your fucking lucky you can walk down to the post office to cash you disability giro!!!

Finally Ricky oversaw the installation of Britain's fist "Big Bog" with is capable of withstanding weights of one ton....imagine the size of the shit that would come out of a one ton person. The plumbing alone couldn't possibly handle it. Imagin swimming in Santa Ponza and having a twelve foot floater sail by???!!?!?!?

I think fat people should be discrimiunated against. Their laziness pushes up our health premiums, overburdens our health system and what's the story with fat young wan's wearing next to nothing on hot days.....it turns my fucking stomach.

Did you know if you are a kilo overweight in your luggage while going on holiday that you will have to pay excess baggage, but if some thirty odd stone heifer waddles up to the desk they don't have to pay a bob for the extra rolls of fat they're carrying.

It's time we put our feet down and said "No more cake for you fatty!"