My Family Tree
A few months ago I was going through an endless series of messages in my Hotmail Inbox which promised everything form genital enlargement to pictures of horny housewifes. Now, having no need of the former and little interest in the latter I was preparing to delete the entire lot when one caught my eye. It was an add for Ancestry.com which promised to find my relations for a once off payment of $19.99. Well always being interested in history and what have you I decided to take up the offer.
This morning I received my first report, the results startled even me.......
It seems that I had a great grand cousin, twice removed, added back on, on my fathers side. Thomas "Bugsy" Creedon left the quiet pastures of Ballyvouskill in the Great Fire of Aught 6 for the shores of America. Along with millions of poor Irish immigrants Thomas was a charming cheeky sterotype who made his way in an alien environment.
However Thomas also had a darker side. While running an illegal gambling ring in New York's upper west side he cut off an Armenians scrotum in a fight. Thomas had the scrotum made into a purse in which he carried the poor Armenians balls until the day he died.
By the twenties Thomas, or Bugsy as he now liked to be known, was running the Irish mafia in New York and with the advent of prohabition went into business with Al "Scarface" Capone. Capone and Bugsy became firm friends with Capone once referring to Bugsy as "the greatest criminal mastermind I've ever known".
Unfortunately Bugsy's life did not end happily, he was shot to death while in bed with half a dozen show girls by a rival for his criminal business empire.
Al Capone Holds The Door For Bugsy
You Want To Do What On Valentines Day????
Shocking stuff I think you'll agree. There promises to be even more startling updates on my family tree over the coming weeks.
This morning I received my first report, the results startled even me.......
It seems that I had a great grand cousin, twice removed, added back on, on my fathers side. Thomas "Bugsy" Creedon left the quiet pastures of Ballyvouskill in the Great Fire of Aught 6 for the shores of America. Along with millions of poor Irish immigrants Thomas was a charming cheeky sterotype who made his way in an alien environment.
However Thomas also had a darker side. While running an illegal gambling ring in New York's upper west side he cut off an Armenians scrotum in a fight. Thomas had the scrotum made into a purse in which he carried the poor Armenians balls until the day he died.
By the twenties Thomas, or Bugsy as he now liked to be known, was running the Irish mafia in New York and with the advent of prohabition went into business with Al "Scarface" Capone. Capone and Bugsy became firm friends with Capone once referring to Bugsy as "the greatest criminal mastermind I've ever known".
Unfortunately Bugsy's life did not end happily, he was shot to death while in bed with half a dozen show girls by a rival for his criminal business empire.
Al Capone Holds The Door For Bugsy
You Want To Do What On Valentines Day????
Shocking stuff I think you'll agree. There promises to be even more startling updates on my family tree over the coming weeks.
posted by Unknown at
10:17
5 Comments:
JESUS Mary and Joseph!! YOu had me going for a few seconds there man! For a moment I thought you were going to exclusively reveal that WE were related!!!
(And just to be sure everyone understands: WE'RE NOT!)
Well actually Colonel we are. for you see Creedon family legend has it that the Creedon clan originated in the North Of Ireland and came south for The Battle Of Kinsale in 1601. After the battle ended the clan started on its way home. However, due to laziness and other factors some of the clan dispersed along the way home and married into the local clans. So there, Ciaran IS related to Cubaboy!! If I ever need a kidney I know who's door to knock on!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Well, if you need help in subduing the Colonel in order to extract his kidney, I volounteer ho hold him still whilst you do the cutting
You'll need some army Dutton! (I refuse to call you mwhwuyz).
Anyway both my kidneys are useless to anyone but me. Shrapnel taken in the Gulf means they'll fall apart if taken out of my body.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home