United Artists Announce New Bond
London - United Artists took the unprecedented step of announcing a brand new James Bond this morning just weeks after announcing some blond geezer as the man to replace Pierce Brosnan. In keeping with the blond theme little known James Dutton was revealed as the next James Bond after Daniel Craig walked out on the first day of filming. A leaked report suggests that the actor refused to go along with the new "Softer Bond" that director Oliver Stone invisioned. Dutton, a novice actor, hails from the grim mining city of Sheffield and had a minor part in Lord Of The Rings, The Return Of The King as third Ork from the right in the battle of Minis Tirith. United Artits spokesperson, Miguel Sanchez, said that Dutton had all the qualities that the new 21 century Bond required, ie he's gayer than Christmas.
Bond creator, Cubbi Brocoli, was said to be spinning in his grave this morning.
posted by Unknown at
10:08
19 Comments:
I think this man will make a magnificent Bond, and look forward to seeing him break the record for most Bond-girls in one film!
Dutton why the hell are you signing as "itpory", "wehbvc" and "otscgacx"? We all know its you!!!!
So? I still look forward to seeing me with many Bond-girls! Just from a 1st-person point of view!
Dutton did you not read the post, it says "softer Bond" thats code for gayer bond. Your going to be the villans, Gob Job, Manky Balls etc. And what are you doing in Nottingham???
Nottingham? Dunno, not been there in years!
And why would I be (doing?) the villains after you announce I'm to be Bond? They'll get done with an automatic weapon before I pacify the Bond-girls with my real weapon
Some feen from Nottingham keeps on viewing my site, nust be seriously bored. And some scobe from Belfast. Please post and tell me just how boring your lives are.
As for the new homosexual Bond I was hoping Mr sulu could play the part of Gob Job, your new arch villian who you seduce and give Aids to, as a way of killing him like. Slow and painful, you knows how to kills 'em Mr Bond
They must be bored! Yeah, come on - tell us about it?!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I can shed light on the 'scobe from Belfast'. If you've recieved a hit right about the time I write this you can safely assume it's me. My ISP "UTV Internet" is based in Belfast so it appears as if you're being hit from there.
Similarly when you hit my site you hit as a yank because your company's server is in Norcross in Georgia.
In the wacky world of the internet, no one is whom they appear to be...
My God... the censor strikes. Tell me that the "iron grip" of the Colonel doesn't extend this far?
lmao
No I accidently named Cubaboy's company in the post, so I removed it instantly and rewrote my comment.
Oh yes, somtimes your ISP connects to a sever in Nottingham so that's why Cubaboy thinks you're there. Same reasoning as earlier.
Result! My thread has more posts on it than the Colonels :-)
This man was born to play Bond. And I bet he's got a donkey dick too.
Well, he certainly has a donkeys notion
Davey, are you one of the privates that the 'Colonel' interfered with?
"Horny Nymphette", or Dutton as I like to call you, as we can all see from the latest post on this site you are nowt but a cross dressing layabout. The pictures don't lie. You and The Private should just come out of the closet and be done with it.
Horny Nymphette, can you clarify this donkey dick rumour? I'm interested in sampling it
He's mine, I tell you!
But I'll share him onscreen with you in a Bond film
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