Scandal Rocks US Marine Corps
Shock and revulsion swept the top echelons of the American military machine last night amid allegations that one of it’s highest ranking and most decorated officers was in fact not a Colonel at all but in fact an FCA reject and a congenital fantasist. Ciaran Creedon who has been passing himself off as a United States Marine Colonel for several years is thought to have insinuated himself into the highest offices and is largely seen as the brains behind the attack on the Asshole Of Evil which resulted in the current War in Iraq.
It has been discovered that Creedon, pictured with his FCA platoon, "A Team", never actually joined the United States Marine Corps despite achieving the rank of Colonel. When asked last night how such a blunder could have been made President Bush’s spokesman, Ari Fleischer, said "Shit, after the Clinton era we can’t ask nobody nothin’ about their private life. This guy seemed to know his stuff and he didn’t seem, uh….. y’know…funny!!!"
Upon further investigation it appears that Creedon’s only military experience is in the Irish Army reserve, the FCA. One of his former platoon members said that Creedon was always taking charge in a bullying fashion and was given over to lecturing other platoon members on matters of personal hygiene (pictured).
Official army records show Creedon rose to the rank of Private in the FCA and was dishonourably discharged in 1989 for his involvement in the infamous Butthole scandal.
posted by Unknown at
09:58
9 Comments:
Well at least the quote from the Bush administration is believeable.
Thought you had to be 17 to join Colonel, yet you were allegedly a private at age 14?
Who did you lie to, and how much bribery was involved?
One of the many holes in this fictional representation of my life. The article says I only rose to the rank of Private, but you can clearly see the rank flash of a Corporal on the obviously 'doctored' photograph.
I'm also left handed.
Doctored, doctored??? I refute that allegation mister. The Corporal flash you stole from your superior. Come clean Private and save yourself a long and bitter libel case!!!!
I wonder if the private interfers with other privates privates?
I'm still left handed
A clever rouse Private, i bet if I threw a brick at you you'd try and catch it with your right hand, come along now admit you crime!!!!
Yes, let the showering of the Colonel with bricks begin!
Does being left handed mean that you interfere with the other privates privates in an off-handed manner?
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