Gillette Quattro And The Great Razor Blade Scandal

I dunno about you, but I was one of those stupid kids you see on tv who, at the age of five, are discovered by their mothers in the bathroom, blood dripping from their faces and a blunt Bic plastic razor in hand. Fast forward twenty five years and this very imagined memory floated into my head as I ripped open a state of the art (if a razor counts as art today) Gillette Quattro razor blade this morning. Due to a luggage error on the side of Delta Airlines (please stay tuned for the first in my series of blogs entitled "Delta Are A Stupid Bunch Of Incompetent Cunts") I had to forsake my normal Gillette Mach 3 razor for this new space age razor that promised a closer shave than ever before.

Mach 3

Now I am sceptical about this whole Mach 3 bullshit. I'd almost go as far as to take my old friend Jim Corr's line that it's a conspiracy. If you don't know what I'm on about here's the summary....Mach 3 has 3 blades, in theory for a closer shave. We'll in my experience it's just three blades of varying degrees of bluntness that feel like a briar being dragged across your puss every morning. So I wasn't exactly overawed by the blurb on the front of the Gillette Quattro this morning. And I wasn't disappointed. You see what the great idiot public fail to realise is that you can have a hundred blades all neatly stacked on top of one another but that's just a hundred little spaces for your stubble to lodge and render the blade ineffective for subsequent shaves. I spent ten minutes banging the bloody thing off the wash handbasin this morning in order to get it clean. Talk about a pain in the hole!!

Quattro

So at the age of thirty I am now left with a shaving-cut face, a decision about going hirsute a la Gill Grisom or using a cut throat razor and the memory of when I didn't have to fucking shave!!!

Maria Bello In "Clothes On" Shocker

I had the extreme misfortune over the weekend to watch a film called The Jane Austen Book Club. Now don't ask me how I got myself into a situation where I had to watch this junk, or why I didn't simply put my own eyes out in order not to have to watch it, or why I simply didn't leave the room. The fact is I watched it. And never since The Devine Sisterhood of the Travelling Ya Ya Pants has there been such a sloppy pile of auld girlie shite. Anyways that's neither here nor there and I you probably could have guessed that the film wouldn't get a favourable review from me....or any other heterosexual fella around. I did however notice something quite amazing about this film.....Maria Bello was in it.....and she didn't take her clothes off.

I was absolutely shocked. This is the second film I've seen in recent weeks with Maria Bello in it that she didn't take her clothes off in. For an "actress" who is basically one (short) step above a porn actress, she's taken her clothes off that much in films, there's a disturbing trend emerging. If she's not careful she may have to act in order to get further work. Now don't get me wrong, I can appreciate a nude woman as much as the next fellow, but I've seen Maria Bello naked more ofter than I've seen myself naked!!!





For a change of pace I decided to do some research into one of my post's and looked up her biog on IMDb. I've seen her in quite a few films, not on purpose I might add, and out of the ones I've seen she's aired her wears in most of them. Here's a list:





Downloading Nancy - Self mutilating sex scenes - nice

Butterfly On A Wheel - She just about manages to keep her clothes on in this one

A History Of Violence - A nice 69 scene for all the family

The Cooler - She's "plays" a prostitute

Autofocus - Again balls naked



I heard through some colleagues that there are websites that contain lists of actors/actresses that have appeared nude in a film, they even contain the minute and second reference for the hairy palmed brigade. Well I've decided to set up the first website devoted to an actress keeping her clothes on. So here goes...





Maria Bello appeared with all her clothes on in The Jane Austen Book Club - reference:0:00:00 - 01:43:52

Shot Seven Times!!!!

Did you hear this story over the last few days?? Apparently some Irish lad was shot seven times in America. Seven fucking times!! The cop who did it was put on paid leave as a result. According to the article above "he had two gunshot wounds to his left arm, three wounds to his abdomen, one on his thigh and one in the back of his shoulder". I mean for fucksake, this is an absolute disgrace. That cop either needs to go back to the academy and learn to shoot or else get the sack. What ever happened to the old reliable double tap to the back to the head. I'm currently paying Resident Evil 4 on the Wii and nothing takes down a zombie/person like a close range shot to the head. Come on, let's have some justice here!!